The Year

We talked casually of weddings before we ever officially broached the subject. Slowly the discussion of weddings began cropping up more and more and hypothetical questions that never addressed who the other party would be turned into planning out little details like making sure the location wasn't above 8,000 feet so that our grandmothers would be comfortable. Without ever really saying anything we had made the decision to get married. Since he already knew my answer, the only real question left was when to do it.

In our previous long term relationships we noticed that things had changed or started to fall apart right about the two year mark so we decided we wouldn't do anything before that point. I also wanted him to realize that he could be happy and successful in a non-bull riding career. As is the case for many athletes, sometimes rodeo cowboys just don't know when to let go and keep nodding their heads on long after they should have hung up their spurs. I wanted to make sure my intended wasn't one of them. Turns out I'll just be taking him on his word as he's still rodeoing, but you can't win them all.

The Mr. had mentioned a few times that he didn't want a long engagement while I told him he'd better give me at least a year. I had just discovered the world of blogging and was quickly realizing there was a whole lot more work that went into planning these things than I had previously thought. Based on comments here and there I pieced together an expected timeline for myself. I figured he would probably propose near our third anniversary and then we'd set the date for the fall of 2010. Have I mentioned the theme of my life is "never say never" which is closely followed by "expect the unexpected"?

Turns out he started plotting in the fall of 2008 and asked me to marry him in January of 2009. We knew we wanted our wedding to be in the fall but didn't know if we should go for it in 8 months or wait at year to save up and and have a longer 20-month engagement. (To be honest, he was ready get married this fall while I needed a little time to wrap my head around the idea.) So true to form, I made up a pro-con list:

2009 Pros
- Wouldn't have a super long engagement
- Would have to keep things simple
- Would be better for Babcia

2009 Cons
- Doesn't give our parents much time to get used to the idea
- Doesn't give us much time to save
- Wouldn't be able to buy a house right after the wedding
- Not sure it gives us enough time to clean up the farm
- Doesn't give much time to plan the food if it's going to be homegrown
- Better start blogging!
- Save the Dates are supposed to be sent 6-9 months out so the guest list would have to be finalized ASAP

2010 Pros
- Would have a long time to save up
- Parents would prefer
- More time for ME to wrap my head around the idea
- Full moon is on Sept & Oct 23rd

2010 Cons
- LONG engagement
- More time to be indecisive
- Cool [wedding]bee icons might be taken ;-)

Despite the fact 2010 was more logical, we decided we really didn't want to wait that long and jumped in head first. It didn't take very long to realize I would become completely neurotic if given 20 months to plan everything. Especially since sometimes I think 8 months is too long.

Was your engagement a surprise or had you discussed things thoroughly? Did you immediately agree on when to do it or were you like us and expected completely different timelines? How did you decide?